Sign the Register Sign the Guestbook Witch links About
       

If you suspect that someone you know is a Witch follow the recognition guide below.

Each of the following is worth 1 point total up as you go along check your score at the bottom.
         
 

* Things to look for when trying to spot a Witch. *

Witches wear pointy black hats

Witches have black finger nails

Witches wear black high collerd capes

**Witches are not very nice **

Witches try to make your life a missery

Witches don't like what you like

*** Witches fly on broom sticks ***

* Not all will apply, use as a guide only *
** Some Witches can be nice, but are known as Nurses **
*** When not driving small hatch backs ***

   Do any of these ring a bell, if they do it's one point each.

Total = 7

  
         
         
  Does she have any of these amazing capabilities,

Total = 7

  

Things Witches can do.

Witches can talk without breathing

Witches can sence when you lie

* Witches can find hidden money *

**Witches argue for no reason**

Witches will ask questions all the way
through films

*** Witches can fly ***

Witches can do what ever you ask
them not to do

* Even if hidden in the sock draw under some socks in a sock*
** Some Witches argue just for the sake of it, known as "nagging"**
*** Off the handle for no reason***

  
         
         
 

* Things Witches will never be heard to say. *

Here's £50, go have a night out with your mates

I'll cut the grass / clean the car / walk the dog

I think I have enough clothes / shoes now

I'm going food shopping now, you stay at home

Do I winge to much?

Yes dear, I'm sorry you were right all along

I love it when you get pissed, your so funny

* Be aware of "sarcasm" its a clever way that Witches can speak, when used disregard this section *

   Start with 7 points take 1 away for each of the phrases she has definately said,
Warning! see foot note left.

  
         
         
  How well do you know her, take a *stab in the dark* at her likes / dislikes,
If any of these sound ** familiar ** add 1 point.

Total = 8

* Get it wrong & it could be you *
** Not a bat, cat or something **

  

Things Witches do not like.

You being happy

You being online reading this potentialy life
saving guide

Money not spent on her

Fellatio

Other better looking Witches, who like you

* The word "Cumt"*

Being seperated from the phone for
more than 30 mins

Your friends

* Spelt wrong intentionally as children may read this site and could find the word "Cunt" offensive *

  
       
         

Give her a lick

If she tastes of ear wax add 1 point.

It's best to do this on different parts of the body at different times of day to get an accurate result,
(Tip, try the ear, first thing in the morning.)

   
   
   

Now check your score.

If she scores above 10 ensure to register her,
it's your duty as a man.
   

28 - 30

25 - 28

20 - 25

15 - 20

10 - 15

05 - 10

 Arch Witch Bitch, the worst kind.

High Preistess of the Succubus, arrgh !

Nasty Ditch Witch, not very nice at all.

Witch, don't take her home to met your Mother.

Nagging Hag Bag, hardly ideal.

Moaning Crone, not exactly Miss Britiney S.
 

If she is a Witch make sure you Register her

See on links bar at Top & Bottom of page
 


How to get that Witch out of your life.
         
 

* Legally *

Burn her

** Divorce **

Kill yourself

Win the lottery

* You care*
** Doesn't acctually achieve anything, but is expensive**

  

* Illegally *

Sell her to the Arabs

** Make a large pie **

*** Drop a large house on her ***



* You don't care*
** Do not eat, Witches taste of ear wax**
*** See Wizzard of Oz ***

  
       
Sign the Register Sign the Guestbook Witch links About